Letting go...

Hey all...

Hmmm.... things happened since i last blog which dun reali wanna talked abt it... just things that make my emotions goes like roller coaster. But as usual, I thank God for them... at least I learn and will open my eyes bigger in future...

Been 6 weeks since I broke up with Dior... it's basically good... but i know deep down inside i m unable to let go like the previous times we end our r/s... there seems to have a string that kept us (or at least me but i m pretty sure he is too) frm letting go... tis time there is no difference... tho we have broken up... he still msg me every single day... and suprisingly more frequently compared to when we were together. He still call whenever he can and still wanna talk... still talk pretty normally abt stuffs happening... but the difference is i dunno wat to say to him anymore. I know... I seldom know wat to say to him... but...i just dunno how to describe...

Anyway... has been feeling reali vexed since we ended... like there no proper ending and stuffs. It actuali affected my choice to be with guy who are pretty nice (potential partner to be). I just cun seems to accept and carry on with a new r/s. The fear and him just stop me from moving on... but there is something he msg me on Friday that completely crushed me... no... no 3rd party as usual... but just something he said that reali breaks my heart... I thank God that I din cry cos I was in the office but it has affected me alot to the extend that I cun continue wat i am doing... still sick as well... (Stomach flu has been the culprit of my fever and tummy upset plus nauseous) I just cun work... but manage to sort out my mind and prayed... told God that i'll throw all my past to Him and move forward.. I am going to start dating and know more friends.

Whatever comes just come... I'll welcome with open arms. But r/s... i guess i've to stop awhile for now... till i can start believing there is love existing in this world and there are someone who loves me... then i'll go into it again...

For now... it's just friends.... Daddy God will take good care of me...