Updates again

It's been more than a mth since i last blogged... hmmm... done lotsa things that makes me happy. Set a new goal with Sandie and seeing wat we need to do to achieve it. So far, nothing reali comes up cos we are so busy in our life, relationship and work. Ashie is doing well and enjoying her workouts. Eileen... she is getting stronger everyday and she got a job and will be starting work on Monday!!! Woohoo!!! Meow Meow... still smiling widely and making ppl ard her hapi even tho she is having prob with Garfield... Lurve you ger. Sandie... I m worried abt her... her work and her r/s with Gab... just hope she can be strong and stay positive... (I need that too). If there is a need for confirmation on a relationship... it;s best to do it. Hanging there not knowing you r both together or not together is tough and tormenting...

Ho ho... I am still single and glad to be one now as i need some time and space to be alone as well. Thot my feelings for Dior is gone but realised it hasn't... Din realise till i received a simple sms last Sunday evening that says I miss u. 3 simple words are enuff to confuse me once again. I actuali teared alittle, din cry... cun cry... not enuff tears to cry i guess... I dunno wat he means by he miss me... It actuali makes me feel he still care and still wants to talk and work things out btw us. Been pondering if I should wait for him to come back next year... Then something i discovered on Wednesday nite manage to crush me once again. I wun say wat he did but it gives me the idea he is trying to hold me back while searching for a new woman in Sydney. It reali hurts and make me feel like hating him but i just cun... and I thank the Holy Spirit in me for that. Just glad i knew abt this and wun waste my time waiting for him again.

Me and Don (yes, him again), nothing much happen between us. But manage to sort my feelings for him and figure there will never be a future for us. He is simply to cold and 'hard' for an emotional, warm and 'soft' person like me. Keke... To me when two people r in a relationship, it's not abt business anymore. It's abt two people being together (spirit, mind and soul). Wish he can open up to me, tell me wat's in his mind, his happiness and sadness. Wat make him so stress and always in a defence mode. I may not be able to understand and give advise... at least to let him know no matter wat, he is not alone anymore. But guess he just dun have any idea wat love is.

Dad has not been feeling well since Mon... not my fault~~~ It's not me that pass the virus to him k... (oh, FYI, I have been pretty sick for a week as well with fever, cough, sore throat, blocked nose and bodyache... and now itchy rashes on my chest... arh!!!)... okie... Thou we still dunno wat is wrong. He has been feeling so tired and weak for many days... sleeping and dozing off, not eating much... The medicines he took doesn't seems to work... Atlast, grandma and aunt ask him to go hospital for a check up to see if it's dengue fever cos there has been 2 case of dengue fever at our side recently. He still refuse to go~~~ my gosh... never know a man so stubborn like my dad... he only went when my bro and his gf drove all the way down to bring him to hospital. My youngest bro also went straight down from office and that was like 11 plus at nite. So hardworking of him... lol~~~ Anyways, the result comes out clean. Nothing was found. But the doctor refer him to National Skin Center if i m not wrong for another test to confirm. He went yesterday and was told to go down for another one on Mon. Gosh... all the blood lose... But thank God he is feeling beta... he actuali went to the market with mum this morning and eating again. Just hope everything is fine.

Okie, I would like to thank 'U know who u are" if you are reading this blog for accompanying me with the wait and sorry that u have to sleep so so 'early' in the morning and be late for work. Can imagine how stoned u r yesterday cos i m stoned to the stonest... Hope it doesn't affect your work. Keke... u r a great friend for being there to entertain me all the way till the wait is over with your crappy Bombai da, India, Butter chicken, Singapore and Mr India Curry House. Owe you a meal friend! Let's go for India food k (Indian Slang)~~~ lol

Monday Pink

While most of my friends are having their Monday Blue... Me on the other hand is feeling pinkie~~~ Lol~~~ From my feeling to my health... all pink~~~ It;s good rite??? Cos it is... But please dun envy me friends... I'll feel my blue tomolo...

Well... had a great time yesterday... nua the whole of my Saturday but yesterday... it was a fruitful day for me... Can you believe me if I tell you I, Linn, actuali started likeing exercising???!!! I cun believe it myself... but it's the fact... at least still not under the sun... but lurve working out slowly in gym... went to Yio Chu Kang SSC with Sandie early in the morning but realise it's only for members (no wonder everytime i see not much ppl one)... so we went to my favourite Katib SSC instead. I am seriously considering getting the 6 mths membership at Yio Chu Kang next week... cos intend to go there after work every Tues, Thurs and Sat... So this week, that's tomolo, I'll be going to Eileen's hse with Sandie for gym session and Thurs, will go to Bishan SSC with Sandie either for gym or badminton...

All the fanatistic 5 gathered in Ashie's place yesterday!!! So hapi!!! Never been hapi for so long... so glad to see Eileen back... can tell she is lost and still sad... but we'll do our best to spend time with her... We keep hugging her yesterday... cos reali reali miss her...

Updates... haha... (actuali can see frm Ashie's blog on the update lah... lazy to repeat... gonna be the same anyway... whahahahaha~~~~~)

Anyways... seems like I've been recovering pretty well from all the things I've been going thru for the past 2 mths... well... guess I am... church helps alot... listening to the messages... knowing I am Daddy God's beloved... seeing all His miracles working in my life... making me stronger and tougher... making me know that I m the righteousness of God in Christ.

Dior says he'll be back on the 30th November... One of gerlie ask me how i feel... seriously... i dunno... I did tear a little last nite but I guess it just impossible for us to be together anymore... even if things between us has sorted out when he is back... once he goes back... everything will go back to the same again... It has been like this for the past 3 yrs... seriously hurting and tiring for the both of us... we just need to go separate and be friends... it'll be beta... Being friends is the only way I can think of for us. I know he'll be happier... he told me so... as long as he is hapi... I am hapi oso...

Anyways... enough of me! Hope everyone will be hapi as well!!! Huggies to all!!!~~~

Wow...

Keke... it's good to start blogging with some laughzzz ~~~~

At times, just dunno wat to say or how to explain to people what is going on in my life... seems like nothing much happen but then seems like lots of things are happening at the same time... complicated??? Yeah... that's wat I'm thinking too... the only people I think is worth explaining to is probably the Fantastic 5 and Meihui... No one else... Gerlies are still the best! Vincent and Andrew are good good friends too. Leo cares but he can be pretty critical at times... but can only talk to them when I wanna know wat a man is thinking...

Did you see the link to Linnie's (that's me) MySpace and Friendster??? Paiseh to say... just learned how to link just now... oki oki... I m no I.T nerd k... (oppsss... not talking abt u Matthew.... lol~~~)

Well... I m more active in MySpace so if you folks have MySpace Account, add me!!! I need more friends!!! As for Friendster... haha... I joined in Dec 2006 (which i dunno why) but forgot all abt it... that's why I have only 2 friends so far... pathetic isn't it... so U people who have Friendster... U know wat to do k....

Okie... just wanna let my friends know I m alright now... I reali am. Thanks to Daddy God and my 15 hrs of sleep... Lol~~~~ Yes Yes!!! 15 hrs!!! Do nothing here but sleep!!! I reali need it... not been sleeping for more than 4 hrs for the past so many months... makes me tired and emotional and sick... [sounds familiar... deJa Vu... (-_-")]

Lol~~~ Watever it is, all unhappiness is over and forgotten! No one can restrict my freedom of choice nor will I restrict theirs. And no one can tell me wat to do unless wat I am doing is hurting someone. I may be blur and look blur blur... but I know things k... just that I din wanna say it out... so beware... gagagagagaga~~~~~

It's all about choice. Linn's choice.

Hmmm.... made a choice this morning and i guess a final one that I am not going to see Don again... This choice hurts... but it's for the best... He gets reali pissed and agitated when I go out with my guy friends...

I know how he feels but everyone need friends... be it man or woman. I learn this from Dior which I find it very true... No matter wat happened between a couple, good friends who truly cares abt u will always be there for you... suppporting and encouraging you.

If this thought of mine upsets him so much... it's best we come clear and just be friends or go separate ways... in this case... my guess is he'll choose the latter cos he's the kinda man who either be his or not be at all... So sad... he's such a nice person to be with. Things goes reali well when we are together... he is so sweet and comfortable to be with... problems arise only when we are not meeting... that i m emotional and fickle-minded... (am i? i dunno wat other think... but if i do like/lurve him... i'll not seek for some other guys unless my feeling for him ended)... and him for restricting my choice of friends and not trusting me... that's when all hell break loose..

Someone once told me... watever happen in your life... good or bad... pray and ask Daddy God what is the lesson behind it... tell Him wat we have learned from it and pray that it'll never come back and we are ready from new challenges and happiness He desire us to have!!! I pray for that and I received. Everything is going to be well again!!!

Well wishes to all I know.

It's a new Beginning... I wish...

Keke.... Thanks gerlies for all your encouragements... U know wat... no one in this world can ever make me give you gers up... You gers are God's gift to me... reali glad to have you gers around.

Done something reali funny today with Sandie.. and I will never ever say wat it is. Shhhh... dun tell k Sandie... Keke... think it's once in a lifetime thingy ger... we cun do that again!!! Lol~~~~

Actuali dunno wat to write but just wanna let ppl who cares abt me know i m well... Still thanking God for everything that happened and enjoying the process of recovering and everything that happens. I will be fine friends. Lurve you all.

New beginning

As you can see... I've deleted all my pass blogs... got this idea from someone whom i dunno but feel it's a good way to erase my past.

Lol~~~ Especially when i dun have a good memory and reading my past blogs kinda rekindle that feeling. Dun want that to happen. Just wanna forget abt the past and get on with my life.

This time... I reali wanna forget abt my past... everything unhapi... No more relationship...not now... till i have faith in love and till I can start believing wat man says again... But i guess that wun happen in the next few mths or a year... SO!!!! Now I just wanna be hapi, know more friends and meet people whom i've not seen for so so long...

We shall all be happy for the decisions we made and not regret okie!!!??? Smile and be of good cheer!!!

Letting go...

Hey all...

Hmmm.... things happened since i last blog which dun reali wanna talked abt it... just things that make my emotions goes like roller coaster. But as usual, I thank God for them... at least I learn and will open my eyes bigger in future...

Been 6 weeks since I broke up with Dior... it's basically good... but i know deep down inside i m unable to let go like the previous times we end our r/s... there seems to have a string that kept us (or at least me but i m pretty sure he is too) frm letting go... tis time there is no difference... tho we have broken up... he still msg me every single day... and suprisingly more frequently compared to when we were together. He still call whenever he can and still wanna talk... still talk pretty normally abt stuffs happening... but the difference is i dunno wat to say to him anymore. I know... I seldom know wat to say to him... but...i just dunno how to describe...

Anyway... has been feeling reali vexed since we ended... like there no proper ending and stuffs. It actuali affected my choice to be with guy who are pretty nice (potential partner to be). I just cun seems to accept and carry on with a new r/s. The fear and him just stop me from moving on... but there is something he msg me on Friday that completely crushed me... no... no 3rd party as usual... but just something he said that reali breaks my heart... I thank God that I din cry cos I was in the office but it has affected me alot to the extend that I cun continue wat i am doing... still sick as well... (Stomach flu has been the culprit of my fever and tummy upset plus nauseous) I just cun work... but manage to sort out my mind and prayed... told God that i'll throw all my past to Him and move forward.. I am going to start dating and know more friends.

Whatever comes just come... I'll welcome with open arms. But r/s... i guess i've to stop awhile for now... till i can start believing there is love existing in this world and there are someone who loves me... then i'll go into it again...

For now... it's just friends.... Daddy God will take good care of me...